The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
