i permit you to call me
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
