Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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