my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Green mimosas i think yes
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
