He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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