I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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