Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
