Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
