did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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