They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
