How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
