i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
