Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
be right there i have to get my cape
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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