i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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