is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
