Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize