You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Everclear isn't food dammit
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
