I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
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