Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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