He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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