made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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