i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
