i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
