Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
its not stalking. its research.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
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