Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
