this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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