Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
