Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
