Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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