What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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