I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
