well I can't set my house on fire every night
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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