I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
false alarm, still single
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
