oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I could fuck to npr.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
