i was born a porn star she said
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize