thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
