why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
