yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
