i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Shame - the story of my life.
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