god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
