What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
