shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize