it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
do herpes really smell.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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