She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
