I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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