ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
