We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
