Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
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well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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