Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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