I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
