This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just had sex on a roof
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
