I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
