I just saw a hot homeless man
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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