you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
