Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
