i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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