Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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