Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
